Well, after a rather long absence, I’m back and ready to write. I was playing Scrabble the other day when I realized that there was a rather unusual word on the board, just played by my brother. I check the dictionary, and he gets 20-something points off of “bumf”. What exactly is a bumf? I check online, and there it is: “dull and useless documents”. After a bit of poking around the net, I felt a burning need to share these words with the world so that never again will a conversation be boring!
Absquatulate- I figured this was a funky word for exercise at first, having “abs” and “squat” in it, and thus a word I would have little to do with. I wasn’t far off when I thought of exercise- I can now say that I absquatulate whenever the subject is mentioned. It means “to leave abruptly”. Unfortunately, this knowledge doesn’t stop me from accidentally thinking of my old gym teacher when I say it. Bad memories.
Defenestrate- The first thing that came to mind when I saw this was “Man, he defenstrated all over the walls. I hope he gets over his diarrhea soon.” Thanks, brain. Big help. I wasn’t anywhere close one this one- it means “to chuck out a window”. There are as many uses for this word as there are English papers in my backpack. For those who haven’t seen my backpack (hopefully, this includes most everybody reading this), this means there are hundreds of thousands of uses.
Turdurken- I had no idea what to make of this one. The real definition, however, was weirder than anything I could have thought up on my own. If you eat an entire turdurken for dinner, you have just consumed “a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken”. Not something I’d eat, personally, but I know some people who would be more than delighted to add this word to their vocabulary and stomachs. Birdception.
Hornswoggle- A words go, something that isn’t out of place in Harry Potter is usually pretty interesting. Sadly, I don’t recall it ever being used (if you know better, please tell me- I’d finally be able to surprise my Pottermaniac friends). There would have been plenty of uses, though; for instance, Professor Snape hornswoggled Voldemort. In other words, he “cheated or deceived somebody”. Actually, he hornswoggled me, too.
Flibbertigibbet- AHA! Now we’re getting somewhere. This was the password to the Gryffindor common room in one of the books (I forget which). Frankly, I’m amazed that anybody was able to get into the tower if they had to torture their tongue into saying this. Incidentally, a flibbertigibbet is a “frivolous, chatty person”. I’m sure you know somebody who deserves this title. Whether they’d know what it means is… debatable.
Well there you have it. I expect a new Scrabble world record from one of you. Jaa, mata.
P.S. – I had to fight autocorrect every step of the way for this. Never again.